2 February 1999 - CEREAL DESIGNER
I've stopped being a stage hypnotist now, because it's not very funny. Instead, I have a new job as a breakfast cereal designer. The first cereal I have designed is called Chairman Mao Crunch.
The box features a cartoon image of the popular dictator eating some of the titular crunch, while the wheaty, crunchy reddish straw clumps inside have been given a light dusting of processed ginger. Also, the back of the box features a cut-out mask of Chairman Mao's cartoon dog, Sparky Young.
3 February 1999 - CEREAL DESIGNER
It's excellent being a cereal designer. My favourite bit of the job is when I get to devise what free toys to give away. We've recently signed a deal to produce a fun cereal based upon the adventures of Metropolitan Police chief Sir Paul Condon.
I'm considering giving away plastic heads of Sir Paul, which open up to reveal random mottos - much like a fortune cookie. Mottos will include: "I'm Sir Paul ConDON" and "The (Police) Force will be with you... always."