The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Customer Service


16 January 2001 - CUSTOMER SERVICE

I've got a new job working on the customer services desk of a large department store. My job is a lot of fun - especially when I have a joke at the expense of customers!

Yesterday, for example, I had a woman who wanted to exchange a jacket because the buttons were too warm.

As I was pretending to stamp her receipt, I suddenly pulled out a sachet of itching powder, and threw it all over her throat! She was rolling around on the floor, grasping at her neck, for a good 15 minutes. Hilarious!

17 January 2001 - CUSTOMER SERVICE

You wouldn't believe the things I get to hear working on a customer services desk in a large department store.

Take last night, for example. We were five minutes from closing when I heard a low buzzing sound, which undulated in pitch for 30 seconds, before morphing into a barely-audible throbbing. This went on for approximately an hour, before it changed again, this time into a synthesised bark.

Let me tell you, this is certainly not what I expected to hear!

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