14 January 1997 - LOTTERY WINNER
Having loads of money is excellent. I bought a new, top-of-the-range car today, and that too is excellent. It has all the extras. It's essentially shaped like a pig, but with wheels in place of the face. Inside, the whole thing is padded and the steering wheel is in the centre of the floor. There's a button on the floor which, when pressed, causes a hologram of a wasp to appear and offer directions. The first time I saw this, I crashed into a kennel!
15 January 1997 - LOTTERY WINNER
Being a rich person now, I'm allowed to go into rich clubs, where rich people do things worthy of their stature. For instance, last night we all sat around in a circle and burned a huge painting of a poor person. We laughed for hours about that one. Then we played football with a solid gold ball, which we later ate, because we could afford to. Then, as the evening was drawing to a close, one of the other rich people bought a dog and then gave it away because he is so rich.