6 November 1995 - ROMANCE GUIDE
One of the most important aspects of romancing ladies is your appearance. You can't expect them to fancy you if you've just come straight from the local coal mine.
For instant results, try wearing a pair of baggy trousers and a flouncy shirt, and stuff the arms and legs with liver. Hopefully she'll think you've got really big muscles. If this doesn't work, tell her you have a glandular disorder which causes you to swell (a useful lie at other times, too).