"Dynamo Games" - Broken PC
18 October 1997
I'm Phoning Honey, king of the practical phone pranks, back for my second week at the top! This week I've been doing the thing that I always do: the phoning up games shops for a laugh thing. Ha ha ha.
I have been contacting shops with a PC connection to see how easily I can freak them out with my crazy lines of questioning. Because I'm so scared of legal stuff, I have changed the name of the shop. But it really happened, man!
"DYNAMO GAMES", MIDLANDS
US: Hi, man.
DG: Er... what?
US: Hello there. I bought a PC off of you the other week and it's playing up in a weird way.
DG: What's it doing?
US: Well, I fixed a super-charger to the CD drive and now it's gone completely wrong.
DG: What's a super-charger?
US: Oh, it's something I knocked together in my garage. It makes things go faster. I stuck it onto the back of my CD-ROM drive, and it went out of control.
DG: Er... in what way?
US: It actually flipped out of the PC housing, and shattered on the floor. Then a fire broke out inside my PC, and I almost couldn't put it out.
DG: If your PC caught fire then you've had it, mate. If you started messing around with the insides then you're stuffed, because it'll invalidate your warranty.
US: It was only a small fire. The RAM slots melted, but the PC still sort of works. And I had a spare CD drive. It's just that now the keyboard is getting really really hot, and I burnt my thumb on it.
DG: It sounds knackered, mate.
US: My PC isn't knackered.
DG: Well, it is if it caught fire, and now you can't use it because the keyboard is heating up.
US: What shall I do? I'm scared.
DG: You can bring it in, I suppose. We could have a look at it, but I'm not promising anything.
US: I'm not sure if I can bring it in.
DG: Why's that?
US: If I do bring my PC in there are some files you must promise not to look in. Do you have a pen and paper?
DG: Yes, why?
US: I want you to write down the names of the files you mustn't look in.
US: They are all the ones beginning with... actually, it's best if you don't look at any of the graphics files. At all, please.
DG: I promise we won't look at any of your files. If it's a hardware problem we shouldn't need to, anyway.
US: What are you insinuating?
DG: Nothing. I have to go now, I've a customer waiting. I...
US: What did you call me?
DG: I didn't call you anything.
US: You called me a rag-monkey.
DG: I've got to go. Goodbye.
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