Buying A Dreamcast
9 October 1999
Trump-ta-tron! That's the noise my phone makes when it rings. Hello, I'm Phoning Honey, the cheeky green guy whose job it is to orchestrate telephone pranks for the evil videogames on-screen 'zine known as "Digitiser".
Next week is a special week, because it is the week that Sega releases its Dreamcast. Therefore, you can imagine the phone phun I've been having! The names have been changed to prevent the actions of outraged parties.
"WONDER GAMES", CENTRAL LONDON
US: Afternoon. Do you sell consoles?
WG: Games consoles? Yes, we do.
US: Can you see any from where you are right now?
WG: Well, what, uh, what do you mean?
US: Can you physically see the consoles right now. Right now with your eyes?
WG: I can see them, yes.
US: Can you see any Dreamcast consoles in your shop?
WG: We won't be getting the Dreamcast until next week.
US: But everyone else has them...
WG: If anyone does have them, they're grey import machines.
US: I don't understand such phrases.
WG: It means they're American or Japanese machines.
US: American or Japanese machines? Why can't I have a British one?
WG: You can have a British one if you wait until next Thursday.
US: But I need it before then.
WG: We physically don't have any here right now. We won't be getting any at all until next week.
US: But that doesn't make any sense, you must have them now.
WG: NO! We don't!
US: But you have other consoles, right? You have PlayStations and Nintendo 64?
US: So why don't you have a Dreamcast?
WG: Because it isn't released until next week.
US: Released? You talk about it like it's a caged animal being released into the wild.
WG: I suppose so, yes.
US: So you can't supply me with a Dreamcast?
WG: We can supply you with a Dreamcast but not until next week.
US: Why didn't you say that in the first place?
WG: I did.
US: Y'know, you've wasted approximately two minutes of my life. I've got meetings to go to, songs to sing...
WG: I did say it in the first place.
US: Can I pre-order a Dreamcast now?
WG: We stopped taking orders. You'll just have to come down.
US: What are you offering with it? Do I get a free gift?
WG: Uh, no.
US: That's not very good. The shop near me is giving away a choice between a balustrade and a wyvern. Did you know that a wyvern is a dragon?
WG: I didn't know that.
PHONECALL ENDS DUE TO LAUGHING
Do you know of any important moments from the annals of Digi history that have been omitted? If so, then mail me (email@example.com) right now, man. Credit will be duly given for anything that gets put up.