3 April 1999
Gobble gobble gobble: I'm a little plump turkey laying your chocolate Easter eggs for you. Not really: I'm Phoning Honey, the telephone prank king, who's good for Easter and any time of the year!
This week I called some shops to see if they could help with an exclusive Easter gift for the son of Prince Ali of Bakkadhan. Can you guess what I did? That's right: I've changed the shop's name to prevent any hassle. Vuuuroosh!
"MEGA GAMES", CENTRAL LONDON
US: A thousand greetings, sir. I represent Prince Ali of Bakkadahn. He's currently in your country on a diplomatic mission of peace, and has been most fascinated by these things that you call 'consoles'.
MG: ...I'm sorry?
US: No need to be sorry, sir.
MG: Sorry, I mean, sorry, what did? What was it you...?
US: In seven moons it will be the coming of age of young Prince Khan, Prince Ali's oldest son. Prince Ali would very much like to return to Bakkadahn with a console for his son.
MG: Right, you want to buy a console.
US: That is correct. Oh you are wise, oh powerful one.
MG: Heh. Yeah, so... what, you want to take it back to this... this country?
US: To glorious Bakkadahn.
MG: Where's Bakkadahn? I mean, I...
US: Sir, I am wounded by your ill-mannered response. Bakkadahn is a small province sandwiched between Kardoum and Rominok. Our country provides the world with more than half its petroleum.
MG: Oh, right. Yeah, I know it now. What currency is the voltage out there?
US: We use Bakkadahn rupees.
MG: No, I mean the electrical currency.
US: I have no idea. Does it matter?
MG: Because if the currency isn't right, then UK consoles won't work in your country. Also, the TV system may not be the same.
US: But our televisions are much like yours.
MG: Yeah, but things that run on UK TVs might not work there.
US: I'm sure it will. Your TV show, Are You Being Served? is very popular in my country. John Inman is a big star. "I'm freeee, Mrs Pussy!" Ha ha ha!
MG: But TV shows are different to videogames. You see, there's PAL and NTSC. Video recorders are the same.
US: So you will not sell me one of these games consoles?
MG: I'll sell you one, I'm just saying it might not work when you get it home.
US: Prince Ali will be very disappointed. He will cut off my hands.
MG: No way!
US: Imustgonow. Goodbye.
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