Popular Games, Edinburgh
1 March 2003
Oh, hello, Marcus! I'm Phoning Honey, the guy who calls your local gaming establishment, and pranks them till they whistle.
I'm going to die soon, and while you shouldn't be upset about this, you should understand that I'm going to die in YOUR house.
And now? Now the time has come to sustain the truth of the telephonic prankery. All names have been changed to protect the Honey from the bruises.
POPULAR GAMES PLC, EDINBURGH
PG: Hello, Popular Games.
US: Yeah, hi. I wonder if you can help. I'm over here on vacation - or as I like to call it 'vackshun', ha ha - in England from the United States of North America.
US: Thing is, I'm staying in England for six months, and I just wondered if my good ol' US of A games will work on your English consoles?
PG: Well, in theory, yeah, you should be able to get any NTSC game to work on a PAL machine, but...
US: Wait a sec. A pal's machine? I'm here with my wife.
PG: No. What I mean is... what?
US: You said I could get games to work on my pal's machine. You have misunderstood my request. Or maybe I misunderstood what you said with your watch Scotch and English jaw-jaw.
PG: I'm not sure what you're really asking me...
US: Listen up, buddy. I don't want to play games on a pal's console. I want to play my original USA games on an English console. See, I could bring the games through customs, but I got my console confiscated - consolefiscated, I guess - because it looked like a gun.
PG: What console do you have?
US: It's an American console, dammit! Have you got hotdog relish in your ears or something, boy?
PG: No. No relish. I mean, is it a GameCube, a PlayStation 2, Xbox...?
US: Well, I don't know that. I just know my wife bought this thing for me, and it's American workmanship, and it plays games. I'm not going to crack the thing open and look inside now.
PG: No. You don't have to open it up. It's... what sort of console is it?
US: This here conversation is going around in circles, boy. Now are you gonna help me, or do I have to start grinding my teeth?
PG: I can't really help you unless I... actually, look. Why don't you come into the shop, and bring your games with you?
US: I can't do that. What kind of lame, jackass operation are you English boys running over here? I just want one of you guys to listen to what I have to say, and help me out accordingly.
PG: There's no need to raise your voice. I'm sure we can...
US: And I'm damn sure you're not listening to me, boy.
PG: Look. OK. The bottom line is that yes, if you buy a UK machine you should be able to play games on it if you get it chipped.
US: An OK machine? Well of course I'm gonna buy an OK machine. What, you think I'm gonna hand over a hundred bucks for a machine that ain't OK?
PG: I... I really think you should come in. I've got to go, I'm sorry.
US: Yeah. You is real sorry, boy. A sorry excuse for a retail assistant. Are you listening, boy? Boy...?
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