The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Robot Hire Shop


3 July 1999 - ROBOT HIRE SHOP

I've got a new job running a robot hire shop, called "Super Robots". We have all types of robot here at Super Robots, from big robots, to small robots, to other sorts of robots. Last night we hired one of our robots out to a Duke, who wanted the robot to entertain his guests at a garden party.

Unfortunately, I hadn't realised that the Duke was planning to release the robot into the woods, whereupon he set a tiger upon it. This was a flagrant disregard of Super Robots' hire policy.

5 July 1999 - ROBOT HIRE SHOP

Here at Super Robots Ltd. we have robots for all sorts of occassions. Yesterday, we hired one of our robot vicars to a couple who wanted it to marry them. Unfortunately, the robot misunderstood it's instructions, and instead tried to "worry them".

During the marriage service, the robot went berserk, tearing it's own arms off, and kicking over a pew. The couple tried to flee the church, but the robot blocked their path and destroyed part of the ceiling with it's in-built gattling laser cannon. Later, the robot exploded near a disco.

6 July 1999 - ROBOT HIRE SHOP

Yesterday I hired a couple of robots out to a country fair. Unfortunately, the robots were used on a "Throw A Sponge At The Robots" stall. When the water got inside their wiring, they ended up going berserk.

Firstly, they activated their weapon systems, destroying a small church, and blowing chunks out of the graveyard with their laser-targeted missiles. Then they went amok in the vegetable tent, mixing the vegetables up, and muttering insults at anyone who tried to stop them.

7 July 1999 - ROBOT HIRE SHOP

I've had a complaint from one of my customers who alleges that a kitchen droid I hired out ran amok in her kitchen. Apparently the robot, XP-56, ruined her gazpacho by adding curry powder, and burst three cartons of milk in the fridge with his super-powerful teflon fists.

I tried to joke that she was lucky XP-56 didn't burst her head, but she seemed to take offence at this and threatened to sue. At this point XP-56 emerged from the showroom and tried to burst her head. She escaped with a broken nose, and minor bruising.

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