The Really Rather Lovely Links Page
"Okay love, you want links? Here, rub your face against these, you filthy pig: mmmm!"
The web-based incarnation of the beloved Digi. Includes features and previews, plus a limited archive of old reviews. If you're hoping for a carbon copy of what's put out on Teletext, you'll be dissapointed. Unfortunately at present it suffers from the badness, but the webmaster's working on it. Go there now, love
"A vague attempt to apply a Digitiser-like style to the wider world of entertainment" - Biffo. While that may not sound particularly saucy, I can assure you that it is in fact the best web site in the history of Namibia. Yes: even better than this one, Gonch. See these things: Mr T, The Snakes, Knife & Wife, uncensored Zombie Dave - all suckling at the sweet-tasting humour-teat of Mr Biffo. Swearing is excellent!
Mr Biffo's very own site. Contains examples of the stuff that gushes out of his feverd imagination. Wet yourself reading Knife & Wife, or take a look at how Biffo's many script projects are going. That is, if he doesn't discard them first. You'll have to be quick, though as according to Uncle B it's dying soon, so turn your attention to his lovely Bubblegun site instead.
Long dead now, but archive-wise it's still one of the best Digi fan sites out there, son. Features the adventures of the Pink Beret (as in The Man's pink beret), and interview with Biffo and loads of editorial bumph. It also makes an issue of insulting Bunderman quite a lot, which can only be good. And the nice colour scheme will love you up good!
Formerly the Mr Biffo Fanclub, Mental's Digi! site has now become a full-blown fan page. There's loads of great stuff, and the interview with Biffo is still up. Although you're too stupid to know that aren't you, Pob?
Not sure about the title of this site, unless the little guy that runs it really is presumptious enough to call it "Digitiser". However, it's a nice-looking, well put-together site with a fairly big archive of stuff, which I find to be incredibly useful for when I've missed Digi because of having my stomach pumped, or something.
Stuart N Hardy Tribute Site
A shrine to the almighty King Of The Mess-Ups, the one and only Stuart N Hardy. Reveals the man behind the myth, and ridicules it mercilessly. Ha ha ha!
World Of Stuart
Stuart Campbell's proto-lovely archive of all the stuff he's ever done ever. Amongst all of the stuff that you couldn't care less about are each of his Panel 4 articles to date. Forgotten why you were so angry with him before? Find out here!
A brief, favourable description of Digi. Okay, so I'm being a bit of a pedantic completist, here...
I am obliged by the many scorn-o-guys out there to mention that "this has nothing to do with Digitiser, at all, ever." It's the Digi newsgroup, still there against the odds. Not as full of skanks and idiots as it used to be, but there's still a sizeable quota of them. Still, if you feel that you absolutely MUST get the latest "vibe" on the Digi "scene", then this is where it'll turn up. Eventually. Just make sure that if you are a newbie, you don't act the big bum-face, or I'm likely to get shouted at by the newsgroup regulars for leading you there.
Friends Of Super Page 58
The following foxy dudes all have links to Super Page 58 on their sites. Why not visit them and make their lives that much more special?
Robert Dawes' funneee little website can only be described as excellent. If nothing else, this is because you can listen to the A-Team theme music while you play his inexplicably-amusing little games. Oh, man! Also hosts ADS, the official alt.digitiser.snakes homepage, and sees fit to use two of my banners - this makes it even better than cakes!
Go on, visit her site.
The Official Website Of Mr. Nethead
The Eyes Of Doom Website
La Monde de Moi!
Chris' Pokč Page
Shoddy Workmanship - It's my sister's site, dude!
Mark Radcliffe & The Boy Lard
That's right, the two northern tosspots off the radio. They've been going for a good few years now, starting out on the 10-12 Radio One graveyard shift about seven years ago. Much like Digi they got shifted around the schedule, until they eventually wound up in their present location of the afternoon 2-4 slot, where they've been skinning the competition... ALIVE, and flogging the catchphrases... TO DEATH. With their mix of Quality Items, banter and general gubbins they're the best thing on your afternoon wireless. Broadcasting from the BBC's Palace Of Glittering Delights up there in Manchestessestershershire they'll have you laughing like you would not Adam and believe it. Blimey Charlie! Fancy a brew, our kid?
Scrawn & Lard - The Unofficial Mark Radcliffe & Lard Site
The original and still the best. Full of all manner of Mark & Lard gubbins, including profiles of all of their top notch Quality Item feaures, lyrics to songs by The Shirehorses AND The Indecipherable Boys, a chronology of Mark & Lard, and a phrasebook of Mark-n-Lardisms. Almost best of all, it's even got a number of transcripts of Fat Harry White's innuendo-laden portion of the show. Get yourself over there meat paste. Job's a good 'un.
Fancy A Brew?
In depth profiles of both Scrawn and Marc "Lardy Boy" Riley. It's really detailed stuff, starting from Lard's humble beginnings as a sacked member of The Fall, to his current post as gormless sidekick and "lardy feckless get" on the afternoon show dubbed "High Tea & Tosspots" by that genius of broadcasting, Mark Radcliffe.
The Palace Of Glittering Delights
It's the 69% official, BBC sanctioned Mark & Lard fan page! It's the usual detailed archive bobbins, including sampled catchphrases ready for download, a bit about their two appearances hosting Top Of The Pops (where they looked completely out of place), and the only Pixie Guide online. In the words of Fat Harry White: "Hmmmmm, yeah!"
The Shirehorses Shrine
As all fans of Mark and his gormless sidekick will know, The Shirehorses are their fantastic band, responsible for influencing (ripping off) such modern-day luminaries as Placebo, The Seahorses, Supergrass, Baby Bird and many more... This site is dedicated their gut-busting brilliance. It includes band profiles, tour reviews (yes, they toured!), and of course the obligatory lyric sheets to such classics as "Feel Like Shite"; "(Now) I Know (Where I'm Going) Our Kid"; "You're Gormless"; and that avant-garde masterpiece which inspired Place-bo; "Lardy Boy". Also: buy the album - it is excellent. They came, they saw, they cantered!
The Mark & Lard Webring
You know the drill with these things - it links together a load of Mark & Lard sites to save your time. There are a fair few listed, most of which are pretty darn swanky.
Unlike alt.digitiser this usually has some interesting Mark & Lard discussions on it. So, if you missed the latest edition of Lard's Animal Sanctuary, or are wondering what item of clothing Lard was "back in denim" in today, this is the place to find out.
Chris Morris is the almighty god of the prank, and patron saint of sickle-sharp political satire and parody. He belittles the self-righteous, ridicules the pompous and self-serving, and takes a general swipe at the arse of those that take themselves too seriously. Including the media, and especially those that produce, and fall for their over-produced, over-excited self-important news and current affairs items. Hence On The Hour, The Day Today and the so-close-to-the-knuckle-that-it-hurts genius that was Brass Eye. Digi love him, I love him. You ought to love him too. I'll certainly certainly continue to do so while he convinces unsuspecting celebrities and politicians to make fools of themslves, spurting out the complete nonesense that he somehow gets them to recite. Dr Fact is knocking at the door - someone, please, let the man in...
Rethink's Chris Morris Guff
Formerly known as "Christ's Fat Cock", this is one of the most well presented sites that you're ever likely to see. On top of that, it has gargantuan amounts of bumph relating to everything Chris Morris has done, from stints on GLR and Radio 1, to On The Hour, right up to Blue Jam and some of the hoaxes he's pulled. It includes news, descriptions, images and sound files, including a full sample of the time he appeared on The Time, The Place posing as sex therapist Thurston Lowe. It's essential listening.
Includes an archive of Blue Jam material. To call it exhaustive would be unfair - this site has samples from EVERY episode of Blue Jam done to date, plus the Fur-Q "Uzi Lover" sketch from The Day Today. Lovely.
Glebe's Thrift Funnel
Another great site that's worthy of your time, it has "the lot". Not only are there areas devoted to his evil endeavours, but a hilarious dictionary of Morris-speak for the hard of knowing, as well as cuttings from his many appearances in the "papers". "Doctors say that the only cures they have so far are rubbish."
Chris Morris At Comedynet
If you need to read the brain-givings of the man Morris from Brass Eye and The Day Today, then this is the place to come. It includes complete transcripts to every one of the shows from both series.
Even without Bill Berry R.E.M. are still officially the best band in the world ever. These are a few of the best sites on the web devoted to their brilliance:
Julie Graham's Love&Squalor page has been up for some time now and continues to be perhaps the finest R.E.M. site on the web. Beautifully presented, well structured, truck loads of great and groovy information and a virtual Athens (GA) tour as well! Great stuff.
File Under REM
Kipp Teague's veteran site is one of the staples for R.E.M. browsing, containing the original net-based lyrics archive. Ever wondered what Michael Stipe could possibly be going on about? This is the place to find out. Good well-written, in-depth news service, plus some great RA sound files ready for download as well.
REM Perfect Circle Web Ring index
Adam Senft's web ring contains links to pretty much every R.E.M. site worth looking at. If you want the lot then this is the place to go.
Believe In Anything When You're Here
Brighton & Hove Albion F.C.
Check out the following lovely sites to keep up with the push to get out of the ugly maelstrom that is Division 3:
CHAMPIONS! CHAMPIONS! CHAMPIONS!
The Official Brighton & Hove Albion Website
North Stand Chat
Please, Palace fans, concentarte on your own desperate club's affairs, and leave this place ALONE.
Brighton at Yahoo! Football
The Brighton section of Team Talk
The Official Nationwide League Brighton Site
Seagulls! Seagulls! Seagulls! - etc.
The Craggy Island Examiner
The Parochial House
Father Jack' Poetry Corner
Father Jack's one dimensional witterings dissected as literay prose- brilliant!
An excellent fantasy music stock exchange game thing.
The Harry Hill Unofficial Website
The Dashing Dachsund = best thing from Worthing EVER.
Need some (relatively) free software? Get off down to Shareware.com where they can fulfil all of your shareware needs. Excellent search engine allows you to pick out software under any category, giving the closest servers to your location . Lovely.
The official website of not having a girlfriend. If you're male, chances are you're currently in either one of the three states identified here - A: Not having a girlfriend and wanting one, B: Having a girlfriend and not wanting one, or C: Being dead. Either way you should visit this site and find out why you should forget about persuing members of the opposite sex altogether. It's very detailed and very funny, but the jury's still out on whether the argument's convincing enough to point anyone towards full-blown celebacy...
Stupid People, Crime and Current Events
This site is produced by an ex-detective from Alabama and is devoted to the stupidist things that stupid people have done. He assures you that it's all completely true. Perhaps some of Digi's regular correpondent's should appear on here, eh Grady, Dantendo, "Bones" et al ?
Ain't It Cool News
I probably don't need to tell you what this is. Run by a "Rotund Oscar" - a fat little American guy that likes to sit on his fat American arse, stuffing fat American cow-parts into his fat American gob, while watching and reviewing the film-me-do's. Fortunately for us, he's very good at it.
Lee & Herring
The officical website of the funniest comedy double-act comprising a man from Leicester and a sick, sick, Julia Sawahla-obsessed man from Cheddar ever in the history of pies! Obligatory fan-o-quotes: "drink your weak lemon drink now, hobby-idiots!", "or is it the BUSINESSMAN - in his suit and tie...?", "you want the MOOOON on a STICK!". Etc. Please don't hit me, sir.
Copyright © Chris Bell 1997. All Rights Lovingly Fondled.